hmm

Where to begin?  I guess the best place is to say that today is the two month anniversary of me not smoking!  Yay me!  I wont lie and say I havent wanted to smoke at all sense I quit, but all in all it's been amazingly easy for me this go around.  Guess a health scare will do that to you lol.

I have my good and bad days with dealing with Jess being gone.  Funny enough I think it's actually HARDER being here with my parents than it was doing it alone.  Part of me still wishes I had stayed where I was, but I wont deny that I haven't had the chance to meet some awesome people being here, and getting back in touch with some old friends.   But I do miss having my own house, that I get to do things my way in.  Hard to go from running your own place for the past 10 years to having to do things someone elses' way again.  That and it is really nice for the kids to get to know my parents really well. 

I need to buckle down and get Logan potty trained.  He knows what he's supposed to do, he's pee'd and poop'd in the potty now it's time to get him to do it consistently.  I'd really like to have him trained by the time he turns 3, which means I have almost exactly 2 months to do this lol.  I think from now on when we are at home I'll start keeping him in underwear, unless it's nap time of course, and go from there. 

I finally seem to have found my groove again with going to the gym.  Ever sense I got out of the hospital I've been real sporadic about going.  This week was the first week in a long time that I've gone more than once or twice lol.  Today made day 3 in a row, and I plan on going tomorrow as well.  I'd like to start going at least 5 days a week but cant decide if I want Monday to be a class or just go and do some cardio.   Guess we'll just have to wait and see lol.

I hate fact that I cant vent about things that are bothering me on here in fear of who may read it.  I need to have a private journal or something where I can just complain and no one knows lol.   

Ok this post is all over the place, lol time to end it while it still makes a little bit of sense. 

Ok

First things first, I still havent smoked!  Not even a puff...who knew I could pull this off? LOL It's been over a month now, and I feel great.  I do still get cravings once in a blue moon but it's rare now so thats awesome lol.   Jesse quit smoking too!  It's been just over a week for him.  He's doing a lot better now than he was doing at first so thats a plus lol.  In a way it was probably a bit harder for him than it was for me sense he chewed too....but nothing for him in just over a week now.  I'm proud of him :)

He's been gone for almost 3 months now.  Hard to believe that we've hardly used up any of the time yet....but sometimes it seems like the kids and I have been here forever.  Then again we have been here for the past 6 months so that could have something to do with it lol.   I cant wait until June when he comes home for mid-tour.  It's amazing the little things you miss.  Someone to talk to at the end of the day, and just someone to sit and watch TV with, or both of you sitting there reading your own books.  Yes we do that often  lol...even having both of us do our own things on the computers but we were still "together".    You forget to appreciate the little things when you are together for a long time...and even though recruiting kept us separated quite a bit I still forgot.  Yeah I like being around my parents, and I like the fact that the kids get to spend so much time with them...and I've met some awesome people down here...but I cant wait to leave.  Nothing against people here of course, I just hate not having my family together...no fun what so ever. 

Anyway, only about 4 1/2 months until we get to see him again....can the time go a little quicker please?

New computer

So I finally have a new computer woohoo!  Thanks to Jesse finishing his college classes in X amount of time, I got a free Dell laptop lol.  Makes me a happy camper :)  Makes for a happy family in general actually because now we can do video chats with Jesse, with not only video but sound too.  It's awesome and a HUGE improvement to what it was like the last 2 times he was deployed where all we had was the web  cam really and even that froze and lagged like crazy lol.  Kinda neat to watch him playing with Logan, and he's 1/2 a world away.

Turns out that this computer came just in time too...sense apparently I have a virus on that one that I cant heal and now I have to just wipe my whole computer.  Fun stuff.  Which means loosing a ton of music and pictures.  Thankfully I got a lot of my old pictures out of there before the virus, and the newer ones are posted either on facebook or on myspace.  The only music I'm bothered by is a CD from high school when my choir went and sang at a special competition, and as far as I know thats where the only copy of it is....grrr.

Ok so thats all I've got for now lol

Updates

Ok I promised updates, so here we go lol.

First and foremost, my health scare.  A week before Christmas, I was getting the kids ready for school....when suddenly my left arm and leg started to tingle like they were going numb, and I got light headed.  I got really scared and had my mom take me to the ER.  I got admitted to the hospital for the next 24hrs and had a million tests ran on me.  Basically they thought I had a minor stroke...at 27 (ok almost 28 lol).  They couldnt find anything that would prove that I did (no blood clots, heart was fine, ect) so they think it was migraine induced.  The morning that all this happened I woke up with a headache, and apparently you can have a migraine without the horrible pain.  So essentially I'm perfectly fine...but just the thought that I had symptoms of a stroke with how young I am was enough to scare me out of smoking sense I know smoking increases your chances of having a real one.  So at least something good came out of the whole ordeal, sense I'm terrified to even think about lighting up a cigarette now lol.  Tomorrow marks 3 weeks of no smoking for me woohoo!  I've never made it this long before and it feels great!  So yeah that was my scare.  Fun times.

Other than that things are going really good.  Christmas was great and the kids loved opening up all there presents.  Would have been even better if Jess had been here, but he did at least get to watch on the web cam...so thats something!

I managed to pull something in my back when I went to the gym on Tuesday.....feels fine most of the time until I move "just so" and bam...big time pain.  So I'll be taking it easy for the rest of the week and hopefully getting back into it on Monday!

Jesse is doing good as he can be for being so far away.  He takes a very important test on Monday, so I've got my fingers crossed for him!  Hoping it goes smoothly!

Yeah thats all I've got for now lol I'm hungry, time to go find something for breakfast!

Happy 2010!

Ok so it's been a month on the nose sense I've posted!  Eeek!  This one probably wont be too long either.  But I wanted to do a quick post about my new years resolution! 

Typically like everyone else, it's to loose weight, quit smoking, ect!  Well I've already quit smoking (2 weeks today woot!!) thanks to a health scare (more on that later).  And instead of trying so hard to loose weight and being so hard on myself, I've decided that I'm going to stop.  Stop being so stressed out by how I look and what the scale says, and work on being happy with me.  Yes I'm still going to continue going to the gym and such but no more obsessing about what the scale says.  I've been so worried about my body image when I had no reason to.  My husband still loves me, is still very much attracted to me, and I have no health concerns linked to my weight.  So why stress over it?  I think it will make me an all around happier person!  Easy resolution you'd think right?  Haha we'll see....I've had a bad body image sense I was a teen.

Today marks my 28th birthday, a whole new year all around....wonder what it will bring?