I'm a sucker and I know it

Well I made it until this morning...which was day 10 mind you...before I broke down and bought cigarettes.  Pfft.  Cant even make an excuse thats worth anything because there isnt one lol. 

Logan is at least still off the sippy cup lol, at least I know thats one thing we wont be going back to.  He still fights sleep for at least a little while ever single night, but it's never for more than a few minutes.  Ok well it's only a few minutes of actual crying lol he's been in bed for the past 45 min...talked for 43 of those minutes to Doug and cried for the last 2...now he's quiet.  I'm beginning to think he's getting his 3 year molars already, even though he's been a late teether his whole life because he's been pooing up a storm.  Or it could just be the fact that he's eating more real food and WAY less milk so his body is adjusting.  Who knows.  Either way I'm tired of changing poopie diapers, time for this kid to potty train!  Maybe that will be my new years resolution haha...to get him potty trained. 

I'm TRYING to stay positive for the holidays, but it's definitely not easy.  Hard to stay happy and look forward to all the family stuff when Jesse isnt here.  Oh well...I'll get through it and the kids will have an awesome Christmas, and thats all that matters! 

Bekah is only a week away from turning 7.  How in the hell did she get that old?  Then talking to an old friend on the phone, and we talked about how some girls are losing there virginity at 10 these days.  WTF?  10??!!??  Thats only 3 years away!  There is no way in hell my child will be loosing hers that early, but still the thought of a 10 year old not only knowing what sex is and how it's done, but actually DOING it just amazes me!  You are still a baby at 10 for crying out loud!  Definitely have NO business doing stuff like that.  I'm hoping my "honesty is the best policy" take on things is the best way to go with her.  Every day she asks more questions along that line it seems...not sex per say but how babies are made and where they come from... and I tell her what I think is appropriate for her age and maturity....now I'm worried that I'll be giving her too much information lol.  She's been curious ever sense I got pregnant with Logan though, so it's been an ongoing process with her.  I guess all I can do though is do my best to teach all of them to be smart, and hope they make the right choices!

Sweet!

We are still sippy cup AND smoke free here!  Woohoo!  This is day 5 for both of us lol.  Logan is doing MUCH better with laying down and going to sleep.  He still cries a little bit sometimes, but all in all he will just talk for a little bit then pass out. Yay!

I wont say that I havent wanted to smoke in the last 5 days, but it at least hasnt been bad enough to send me running to the store.  Last time I made it to the morning of day 6, before I broke down.  I dont think thats gonna happen tomorrow though sense my mom has our whole day pretty much planned out lol.  I know I want to go to the gym in the morning, then I have to run to the post office to send off a box for Jesse, then back here to help my mom clean the carpets. 

Thanksgiving was ok.  Seemed weird that we had no company and we ate ham not turkey.  Just didnt seem quite like a holiday.  My apple pie came out good though lol so I guess thats a plus.

I was one of MAYBE 20 people who showed up for kickboxing today haha.  Everyone else was being crazy and out shopping.  Not me!  I cant handle the black Friday stuff....too nuts for my tastes!  My legs were DEAD today....ugh.  I felt like I could only do half of what she was asking because they were so tired lol.  I didnt have the extra umph today like I usually do.  I'm sure having 2 days off will help though lol.  Tuesday is YFirm, but it's the interval one, which means OUCH!  I cant wait haha!

See no biggie!

LOL I can say that now....it isnt what I've been saying the last few days though!  Logan is still off of the sippy (yay!!!!) Last night was the best night by far.  He talked to poor Doug for about an hour haha and then cried for about 15 or 20 min, then slept ALL NIGHT!!!  I swear to you this boy has only slept through the night a hand full of times his entire life.  I'm hoping last night was just a sign that he'll be doing it more often now!  The night before was a rough one though.  He cried for at least an hour before he finally went to sleep.  Then woke up maybe 1 1/2 hrs after he finally went to sleep.  So I laid on Doug's bed again, until about 1 in the morning when I'd had enough of him wanting to lay with me, and then changing his mind and wanting to lay in his bed.  ugh!!!  So yeah I left him in his bed and came down here and went to sleep...didnt hear a peep out of him until about 6:30 or so when he got up for the day.   So yeah needless to say it's going pretty smoothly!  I came soooo close to breaking down and buying him cups while we were at walmart yesterday  but now I'm really glad I didnt!

I'm still smoke free :)  Although with this sippy cup situation I honestly thought I was going to go to the store and either buy cups or cigarettes lol.  I'm happy to say I did neither though!  Today is only day 3 though so I'm not too excited yet lol.  Although starting tomorrow my mom is home for almost a full week so I know if anyone will keep me on track it's her lol sense she quit over a year and a half ago!  I'm just tired of feeling like I "need" to smoke, and trying to remember what I liked about it so much lol.  Not a whole lot really!

Went to the gym again today...for Lori's "turkey" workout.  Holy crap!  I thought all the other kickboxing classes were hard lol this one was insane!  Two days in a row of having to do walking lunges (ouch) then you have the counting kicks or what ever it is that she calls them (another ouch) then the shuffles, and the sprints.  I decided that between today and yesterday's workouts, she just wanted us to be too tired to even think about over eating tomorrow lol.  THEN Friday she's having her "post turkey" workout.  I'm not sure I'll be able to move this weekend lol. 

Trying not to get discouraged about inches and lbs not coming off quicker.  I know it's going to take some time, but for some reason the impatience is setting in lol.  I think next week (after AF leaves!!) I'm going to do the commit to get fit thing at the gym.  It's free!  Woohoo lol and I get to get advice from a trainer lol.

Anyway sounds like Logan finally went down for his nap.  I need to go feed the older 2, dry and fix my hair, and then do some cleaning.

Bekah's blanket

Finally finished Bekah's blanket!  She's thrilled of course lol here is the pattern:
SusanB's Easy Ripple Afghan
and here are the pics!

close up of the colors/stitches

Uggg

So last night was a disaster with Logan!  He fell asleep at 9:30 like I said but then got up at 11 and did NOT want to go back to sleep!  I ended up sending Doug down here to sleep, and then I slept in his bed...which was a BAD idea lol because he then spent all night going from my bed to his.  Needless to say I'm exhausted today!!  But I still havent smoked!  Probably because I'm too damn tired to even think about it lol.  Hopefully tonight will go better!

Logan was so tired himself that he passed out on the floor watching TV down here around 10 lol see:
he slept for about 2hrs like that....so at least one of us got a nap today lol.  I'm very glad I decided to do this this week while the older 2 are out for Turkey day...makes life a little easier.  Just keep your fingers crossed that he gets the hang of it soon!!!

Success!

So I count today as a success lol.  We cut the tops off of Logans last 2 sippy cups this morning!  Which means no more laying down with milk.  See there are several bad reasons why it's bad for him to take milk to bed

1. we were going through crazy amounts of milk...especially if he woke up multiple times a night.
2. I'm hoping the reason he's STILL waking up 4 or 5 times a night is because of the milk
3. when he would be half asleep he'd dribble milk out of the side of his mouth onto his pillow...thus soaking his head in the process...by the time morning comes you have crusty spoiled milk smelling hair ...thus lots of baths.  Oh and his shirts/blankets would smell like it too.
4. I would still have to change his diaper in the middle of the night because of the milk intake or else he and his sheets/pillow/blanket would be soaked...which means more laundry.
5. it's just not good for them...but I fell into the habit.  You'd think I would have learned with Doug and Bekah (they took milk to bed too) but apparently not!

So anyway, we cut the tops off like I said (more for me so I wouldn't give in and give them to him) said bye bye and told him he's a big boy now, and only babies take sippies.  Nap time went pretty smoothly.  I only had to go in there once and remind him that the cups were gone and he's a big boy now.  Bed time...not quite so easy...which I'm sure in part is because he and Doug are sharing a room now.  He did some crying, a lot of talking to Doug when the poor guy was trying to fall asleep, and a little bit of fussing in the end.  Took over an hour for him to quiet down and go to sleep but he did!  yay!  Or at least I'm assuming he's asleep lol I havent heard anything in at least 10 min. 

So anyway.  Off to the gym tomorrow if everyone is healthy!  Logan had a touch of a fever this evening (99) but that could have easily been caused by the kids playing as hard as they were.  I'm hoping thats what it was anyway....I really dont want my poor boy to be sick again :(.  Logan did GREAT again in daycare on Friday, hardly cried when I dropped him off and didnt fuss at all for the workers, which means I got a full hour of kickboxing in for the first time ever lol.  Tomorrow is step, should be interesting sense I've never done it before.

Jesse's only been gone for about a week and a half...and I swear it seems like it's been 3 times that long!  Hopefully once he gets settled in and we can get a routine going with the chatting and stuff, it will go by faster.  We are lucky we got him home for a full 3 years (almost to the day actually lol) so I guess I cant complain too much.  It just doesnt feel right not having him here though.

Anyway I guess it's time for me to go to bed.  I should try to sleep while I can just in case it's a rough night with Logan.  Hopefully it's not, but one thing motherhood has taught me, dont ever count on a full nights sleep! lol

We Must, We Must, We Must Increase our Bust!!!

LOL So I finally braved the gym again today.  Felt really guilty for not going the past week, and made up for it in spades today!  We got there maybe 5 min before class started.  Logan did his fake cry for a few seconds lol I walked him over to where the kitchen play stuff is, he started to play, I asked if I could leave now and he said yes!  That was the end of it!  They did have to come get a diaper from me sense I forgot to leave them in there haha but other than that he stayed in there the whole 1 1/2 hrs of class!  They said he whined a little bit but nothing too bad.  I never thought I'd be able to do a full YFirm class without being pulled out at least once!

Of course the class kicked my butt....a week of not going to the gym and on top of that I have a cold...which means the cardio part was harder than it normally is.  But hey I finished it and Logan let me!  yay!

He did NOT sleep well once again last night.  I really dont know what the deal with him is and the not sleeping lately.  We are going to move Doug in there with him this weekend though and hopefully that will help!  That and I need to get him off of that damn cup!

Poor kid also has a cold of sorts...but instead of coughing like me, he just has no voice!  So hopefully he'll sleep better tonight.

Didnt get to talk to Jesse at all yesterday...first time thats happened sense he left.  Kinda bummed about it but I'm sure I'll get to talk to him today or tomorrow.

Ok so this post is all over the place!  And I need to go get the kids soon so I should just end it now lol.  Gotta clean up the house while they are doing homework.

Deployment Blues

They have officially set in!  Every time Jesse leaves for more than a few weeks at a time, the first week or so I get what I "fondly" call Deployment Blues.  Kinda like baby blues lol.  Not really a depression, but definitely dont wanna do a damn thing if I dont HAVE to.  Which also means that I've been slacking in the gym department.  I'm determined to go tomorrow though!  And depending on how I'm feeling this afternoon I may go after the older 2 get home from school.  Thankfully the blah feeling doesnt usually last more than a week.  I dont think it helps that the holidays are coming up as well...and thats never easy if you have a loved one over seas.

I know Jesse being gone is effecting Doug too.  He's been VERY emotional the last few days...which once again is totally normal.  He usually comes out of it in a week or two.  It's hard on both of us though until he does.  And of course living with my parents...it's hard on them as well.  Until this point they havent really been around the kids this much.  Yeah we lived with them for 6 months when Jesse got out of the Army after his first 4 years...but there were only two of them then, and they were a lot younger.  So they havent gotten to see Doug in all of his emotional glory before lol. 

I cant help but wonder sometimes if it was the right idea to move here...money or not.  Dont get me wrong, I love my parents and the support they offer....but I know this situation isnt easy on any of us.  We have WAY crowded conditions lol (3 adults and 3 kids living in a 3bd 2 bath house), no one has privacy, it's noisy ALL the time lol.  Which granted the noise I'm used to...but they arent.   Cant help but wonder if we'll make it through this year with our relationship intact (my parents and I lol).  So far so good though.  Yeah there have been a couple bumps but nothing we cant handle.

Either way, I miss my husband.  Having him here for 3 weeks wasnt even close to enough.  It went buy so freaking fast it seemed like he was here for a couple days instead of 21. 

Day Two

No I'm not going to count every single day lol I just couldnt think of a better title right now.  On that subject though, Jesse landed safely in Korea.  I got an email from him around 5ish this morning saying he had made it.  Silly us forgot to get him an international calling card so he couldnt call me when he got there, but I'll take an email any day over nothing lol.

Got back into my normal routine like I said I would.  Logan and I went to the gym this morning for Y Firm.  I showed up 15 min early like usual because normally I have to sit with him for a few min so he wont scream when I walk out of the room lol.  To my surprise he walked in there and said "bye mom!" and didnt even look back!  Little stinker.  So I thought I was golden haha no such luck!  I got called to the daycare at about 9:30....30 min into an hour and a half class.  I tried to calm him down so I could go back, but he wasnt having it so I just had to throw in the towel.  Thankfully the instructor is fantastic so she understood and doesnt mind.   I'm hoping tomorrow goes better!  Although I think tomorrow I'll shoot for getting there 5 min early lol at least if I only stay for 30 min of kickboxing thats half the class!

Day One

So Jesse left for Korea this morning.  As usual the hardest part was watching him say goodbye to the kids....thats a heart breaker every time.  They did amazingly well though....they handled it worse last night when we told them that he was leaving today.  Kids are resilient little things arent they?

I'm actually doing ok....then of course that is able to change at the drop of a hat lol but so far so good.   It's always hard walking away and having to drive back home, but at least we can start counting down the days now. 

Tomorrow is back to my normal routine!  My goal is to go to them gym at least 4 times a week...5 or so would be better but we'll start at 4 lol.  I actually had someone stop me last week and tell me that I looked great and that they could see a difference in the month that I've been taking classes.  Talk about making you feel good!  Right now I go to something called YFirm on Tues and Thurs (it's a low weight, high rep class) then on Wed and Fri I go to kickboxing.  No not 'real' kickboxing lol but cardio.  Either way, it kicks my sorry butt lol and I love it.  Also helps that the instructor is freaking awesome.  I'm looking at going to Step on Monday's as well...we'll see though.

Anyway I'm tired of sitting at the computer lol cant wait to get my laptop!

Nervous wreck!

So the day FINALLY came!  Jesse is on his way here! Woohoo!  But of course today is our first day of "real" snow here....so I will be a nervous wreck until he pulls into the driveway, sometime around midnight tonight lol.  Granted we are only supposed to get an inch or two...and as far as I can tell it's not sticking to the roads (our roads are slushy, but they are dirt) but I also cant help but of course hype myself up and think about them freezing overnight...ugh.  And as if worrying about him driving here isnt bad enough, I'm worried about my mom driving home from work in this crap too lol.  She works up in the Springs (about 45 min North of us) and they always get the weather worse than we do sense they are at a higher elevation and closer to the mountains...ugh.  My stress level has shot wayyyy up today lol.

Here's to hoping everyone in my family makes it home safely tonight, so they can laugh at me for being a worry wart! lol

Countdown!

We are down to under 2 weeks until Jesse gets here!  Yay!  It's been over 2 months right now sense we've seen him, and we all miss him like crazy!  Even though we only get 3 weeks with him until he leaves again I'm planning on enjoying that time as much as I can!  Still not sure how I'll handle it once he leaves here for Korea, but I'm trying my hardest to not think about that right now lol.

It's freezing cold here today...literally lol.  It's 25 right now with a windchill of  14!!  I am NOT used to this kind of weather anymore lol got spoiled living in semi warm places.  Oklahoma it RARELY snowed.  Yeah it got cold, but I think the most snow we ever got there at one time was 3 or 4 inches, and we lived there for 6 years lol.  Here if you get 3 or 4 inches thats considered a "light" snow lol.  Although it doesnt snow that often down here in Pueblo, about as much as it does in MO which is only a couple times a year. 

Going to look at a new van on Monday woohoo.  My dad says it's a steal, so hopefully that will turn out well!  I've been limping along on mine for a while just keeping my fingers crossed that it doesnt die in the middle of the road lol.  That and I ran over a nail at some point last weekend, and of course it's in a spot that cant be repaired...so I was waiting for the 15th to replace it (all of my tires actually...they need it!) so that will save us from shelling out $200 to do that if I get this van.  We werent planning on buying a new car this soon (ok this van isnt new lol but new to us) but when a deal like this falls into your lap it's hard to turn down lol.

The kids are all doing really well...getting excited for Jesse to come out of course!  I went to an IEP meeting for Doug on Tuesday, and was pleasantly surprised at all the good things they had to say about him.  Last year his behavior was horrid at school.  His teachers here though said that he's very well mannered, kind, attentive, and always comes to school ready to work!  Definitely makes me think that his behavior last year was more teacher/school related than him though.  I told them also that he'd been diagnosed with ADHD last year and they were all shocked!  He's been off of his meds for about 6 months now, and is showing no behavioral problems what so ever here.  All in all he just seems happier here than he was in MO, which makes me feel even better about coming here. 

Anyway I hear Logan waking up, guess it's time to get off of here.

Jesse's Blanket

It's finally done!  Yay!  Now of course Bekah says she wants one just like it...please just shoot me now lmao.

Lots to do today!

So I havent posted in a week...and thats not because I forgot, it's because I honestly have nothing to update on lol.  All 3 kids got sick over the weekend, with low grade fevers.  Logan was the only one who threw up, and that was only once.  Bekah just had he fever for a day and Doug got the fever plus a cough (Logan got the cough too). 

Today is payday!!  Woohoo lol.  Which means massive to do list and errands to run.  Today I have to

• put gas in my car
• go to walmart 
• go to YMCA to sign up and sign paper
• go to old navy to see if they have pants and such for the kids uniforms
• go to hobby lobby for yarn (might wait until this weekend sense I'll be at the mall then anyway for a hair cut)
  

I think thats it?  I wanna get as much of this done before noon as I can (noon is nap time lol) not sure if I'll be able to get it all done though. 

I also need to order Bekah's new glasses today.  I swear this kid is so hard on glasses it's not funny lol.  This pair is all bent out of shape from her brother stepping on them (she left them on the floor @@) and somehow she's managed to chip pieces out of the lenses.  I got the scratch resistant ones because her other ones were all scratched up in no time, so instead she just takes whole pieces out of them lol.  Granted the pair she has now are still wearable, but I'd rather put those up in a safe place for "just incase" she breaks the new ones again.

Anyway the dogs are bugging me to take them outside so I guess it's time to go.  Three more weeks until Jesse gets here!

I'm loosing track of days

Yep my life is that boring lol I cant keep days straight anymore.

So I decided (for now) that quitting smoking is for the birds.  I dont wanna deal with it right now....yep I know it's bad for me, and I do plan on quitting eventually....just not right now lol. 

I'm counting down the days until the LES comes out for the 1st! (it's like a pay stub for military for you folks who dont speak in acronyms)  To see if our extra pay has actually started.  Because if it has, my main priority is getting a gym membership at the local YMCA and I cant WAIT!  I want to start working out again so badly it's not funny.  Although I have to laugh at the fact that while I'm actually in the same state/house as my husband I have ZERO motivation to exercise but the minute we get separated, or he goes over sea's I go into "must loose weight" mode.  It's something though right?  It's also going to help that my friend Beth happens to go to the same gym and goes almost every day.  So that will be a nice kick in the butt that I'll need to make sure I keep going.  And my mom of all people even said that if she can get her sift switched at work she'll probably join too! 

One more month and Jesse will be here for three whole weeks before he has to leave for real.  I think it will be easier once he's actually out of the country.  It's not easy on either of us knowing he's so close but we cant see him.  I still think the decision to move out here early was the best one, but I cant lie and say it doesnt suck at the same time (sorry mom).   I think once I actually get off my butt and start doing stuff (going to the gym, and seeing friends that still live here) will make it easier too.  I gotta start doing SOMETHING to make the time go faster lol.

I am a NON-SMOKER!.....AGAIN!

LOL ok so today is once again day one of me not smoking!  And Jesse's too for that matter!  No more smoking for either of us!  Time to beat this habit once and for all!  Wish me luck! lol

Things are going pretty good here. Just gearing up for Doug's birthday party tomorrow!  I cant believe my big boy is going to be 8 on Monday!  Where in the heck did time go????

Thats all I've got for now haha I wanna go jump in the shower, and then I need to clean the bathroom.  Just wanted to post a quick update!

So MAD at myself!

So I proved everyone else right, and myself wrong today.  I am a weak willed, spineless pathetic person.  I broke down and went and bought cigarettes today.  This was day six.....DAY SIX!  Of not smoking!  What on earth is wrong with me! 

I was going to re-read the book I linked earlier, and then stop again after I finished it.  But I decided I'm mad enough at myself right now taht I'm gonna give myself the rest of today/tonight and start fresh tomorrow!  Sure I should probably just stop now, but it's my quit and I'm gonna do it my way lol.  Like my mom said, no one controls my quit but me.  I think I will re-read key parts, and print up those key parts but I need to quit once and for all before I go back down on the downward spiral again.

Mom...I'm sure you are reading this lol.  I know you want so badly to say something to me about this, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for not doing so earlier, but please try to bear with me over the next few days lol.

I need to quit coming up with excuses for why this is so hard for me, because thats not helping anyone.  I think the biggest thing I'm kicking myself for is the fact that YES I was craving earlier when I went to buy the cigarettes, but I wasnt moody or anything like that.  The exact opposite, I've been in a GREAT mood sense I've quit.  And I dont know if it's because I'm so mad at myself or what but I've been in a crappy mood ever sense I smoked that first one this morning. 

No more excuses, no more "I'll quit next week/month/year", that cant fly with me anymore.  I need to do this for me, and for my kids.  Mainly for me.  I'm tired of this stupid weak addiction having such a hold on me.  I dont NEED them, they do nothing but cause me trouble!  I can and will do this!

Another new day!

Ok so this may sound horrible geeky of me...but I'm TOTALLY excited to say that I have this book pre-ordered finally!  I cant wait to get it!  I didnt used to be a series girl when it came to books.....used to be hand me a romance novel that was around 300 pages and I'd finish it in a day or two.  These Outlander books....almost all of them are over 1000 pages (except the first one, which is around 850) and I've read all of them at least 3 times.  The first 4 in the series I've read at least 5 times, and the first one...I've lost track of how many times I've read it lol.  So yeah these books are definitely my guilty pleasure.  Now thanks to this series I've become stuck on other series lol.  Like Eragon, which I will admit that I havent read the 3rd book yet....because I've been too tied up in my Outlander books lol.  And of course Twilight, which I will admit I didn't WANT to get into, because of all the hype...but I did enjoy them just the same, even if they are written for a teen audience. 

Ok, enough book geekyness from me for now!  Thats what happens when I let the nerd in me shine through lol.  Today is the beginning of day 5 for me not smoking, and day 2 for Jesse!  He was a little on the grumpy side yesterday morning, but by last night he was doing MUCH better.  I've got faith in him though!  We will both finally be able to kick this horrible habit that we've had for so long!  I will admit that I've had a few times where I've really craved one, but it's easier and easier to turn away from it as each day passes.  It's like I described it to Jesse....the first few days each time you get a craving, or have a trigger, it's like being hit with a big tree branch in the back.  They come on suddenly, and those ones are hard to resist.  Now for me, it's like getting poked with a little stick lol...it's annoying as heck, but very easy to ignore.  I know in some ways it's going to be harder for him, sense he's giving up smoking AND chewing but like I said...I have faith!

Anyway, I need to go get dressed....gotta go to walmart with my mom this morning sense she doesnt like going alone lol.  Then we get to come back and clean the house...so much fun!

Jesse's Blanket

I'm hoping to be done with this by next week!  Yay!  Well once I buy more yarn....again!  Bekah is modeling it for me haha and as you can see if this was a Bekah size blanket, I could stop now...but Jesse is much bigger than Bekah is lol so I just keep crocheting!

This one washed out really bad but you can see the blanket size and such better


This pic is better...but not much lol.  The blue is a dark royal blue...not the teal that it looks here.

9/11....and updates!

Hard to believe it's been 8 years already!  I remember I was 36 weeks pregnant with Doug when this happened.  I got woken up by a phone call from a friend telling me that planes had hit the towers.  I dont think I saw Jess for a few days after that....I honestly cant remember.  One big thing I do remember is that it took HOURS to get on post...and there were lines going around the block for the gas station.   It's a day I'll never forget!

So today is the full 3rd day of not smoking for me woohoo!  Well technically 3 1/2 days lol.  Sense I quit Tuesday afternoon.  I still feel great!  Which is amazing lol.  Maybe thats why it's hard for some people to accept that I've really quit...because I havent been grumpy or anything.  Some people have a habit of asking me shortly after they walk in the door if I'm still a non smoker....or calling the other adult who lives here and asking them if I've smoked yet. :)  Which I wont lie...gets slightly annoying lol.

My hubby finished the same book I read tonight...still waiting to see if it works as well for him as it has for me!  Lets keep our fingers crossed!

The kids are still doing really good here.  Doug and Bekah both seem to love their school a ton, which is just amazing to me!  I still have had no notes or notices about Doug saying he's had bad behavior at all!  I'm finally starting to think that maybe this will be normal for here!  I dunno what it was about the Missouri schools that made his behavior so horrible, but hey I'll take it!

Logan is being a typical 2 year old lol.  His latest thing is clapping at me if I'm not doing what he demands of me.  Like if I ask him to wait a minute, or tell him no he'll start crying and clapping...little butt.  Still no interest in using the potty ugh.  Maybe I need to get him the smaller potty chair and see if that helps.  I'm ready to be done with diapers! LOL

Thats about the jist of it here! I miss my Missouri friends :(  And my former Oklahoma friends (who have scattered across the world now lol).  Amy thanks for feeding my hubby while he's foodless for the next week of clearing housing lol.

Soooo Tired

Logan did NOT sleep well last night at all.  Which of course means that I didnt sleep well either lol.  I havent decided yet if I'm going to try and take a nap when he does or just try and tough it out for the rest of the day.    On the plus side I'm still not smoking :)  Nor do I want to!  Today is my 2nd full day of no smoking and I still feel great!  Yeah I've had little urges to smoke, but nothing overwhelming like I've had before.

I'm hoping the lady from the YMCA calls me back today.  Apparently they have a deal for military that if your spouse is over seas/deployed you get a free membership for that time period.  So I took them in a copy of Jesse's orders and now I'm just waiting to hear if we qualify.  Even if we don't, I'll be joining in October!  I cant wait to start going to the gym again!  My goal is to loose about 20lbs while I'm here....I'd be truly happy at that weight (it would put me at about 130ish...and for being 5'4 thats a nice healthy weight!).  I've lost a pound here and a pound there over the last couple of months but no where near what it would be like if I was actually working out 4 or 5 times a week again!

Logan has definitely hit the snotty 2 1/2 year old phase!  He tries to be a bossy little dude but it doesnt fly well with mama, and hopefully he realizes it soon lol. 

Guess I should get off of here for now and go do something productive.  Or maybe lay Logan down and take a nap like I really want to lol.

I am a NON-SMOKER!

So yesterday I finished reading a book called "The Easy way to Stop Smoking" by Allen Carr.  I was hesitant to believe there was an easy way....lord knows I've tried to quit before and it was ANYTHING but easy!  But I kept an open mind like the book said.  It also tells you to keep smoking while you are reading the book....I thought that was strange its self lol. But I listened, read the book, smoked my last cigarette when it said it was time to, and havent looked back!  And let me tell you, that last cigarette....it didnt taste good like you would expect.  I didnt "enjoy" it like I thought I would, and I didnt try to make it last longer knowing it was my last like I thought I would.  It actually tasted horrible!  And the smoke smell seemed to linger with me a lot longer than it normally does.  That was at 2pm yesterday, and I honestly havent craved a cigarette sense!  I'm amazed!  I'm in a great mood, I'm not pining after those horrid sticks, and I seem to have more energy!

For those of you who may stumble across my blog yourself, and decide that you want to give it a shot...here is a link to his book that you can read online!

http://nerukom.googlepages.com/AllenCarrEN-EasyWayToStopSmoking.pdf 

If you know someone (friend, relative, loved one, ect) that is trying to stop smoking send them that link!

Anyway lol.  I do have the lovely cough that people seem to get when they quit smoking.  My lungs are trying to get rid of all the crap I've put in them over the last 15 years or so.  But other than that, like I said earlier I feel amazing!!!  Now all I have to do is get Jesse to actually FINISH the book and he can join me in my non smokier glory! LOL

What I repeat to myself if I feel a craving coming on-

I AM A NON SMOKER!!!!!

I did not loose anything, or give anything up!  I gained my freedom back!

Colorado State Fair!

Well it's easy to say that the kids had a BLAST at the fair yesterday.  I had forgotten how big this fair is compared to the one in Missouri....sense I had only been to this one once and it was about 10 years ago lol.  They rode on a ton of rides....well ok a handful of rides, but they rode those more than once lol.  There were some rides that they LOVED last year but were terrified of this year...dunno what the deal with that is.   We also got to get our pictures taken with a sea lion!  Yeah it cost more than it should have for a regular 4x5 pic lol but I couldnt resist.  Look how cute!
ETA: The pic shows up huge and cut off on my screen...if it does it for anyone else you can see the whole pic on the FB link I posted lol

More pictures are posted on my facebook here
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=104373&id=502968210

Anyway, we were there from 9:30am until 6pm, so needless to say I am TIRED and sore today lol.  Logan did sooo good yesterday though!  He spent a majority of the day in the stroller and didnt complain about it at all.  That combined with no nap you'd think he would have slept well last night haha.  No such luck though!  I swear he woke up at least 6 times between 8 and midnight.

Not much going on here today I dont think.  I plan on working on Jesse's blanket some more...gotta get at least 2 full blocks of colors done per day so I can actually have it done by the time he comes here to see us before leaving.

Speaking of crochet stuff.  I'm not impressed with the shower puff I made :(  I think I need to make another one out of acrylic instead of cotton.  Cotton just sucks up too much water, and thus doesnt lather the way it should.  That combined with the fact that it takes FOREVER to dry just doesnt sit well with me lol.  So I'll try that I think today and see what happens lol.

Ok I'm done for now lol gotta go and do something productive before the urge to go lay down and go to sleep wins over.

Stupid swine flu ruins everything!

So Jesse and I played around with the idea of either him or the kids and I taking a road trip this weekend. I honestly didnt wanna drive out to MO with all 3 kids by myself, but I will admit I was VERY tempted. We were both even MORE tempted by the idea of him coming out here this weekend (sense it's a 4 day weekend for him)....and I think he probably would have came....except for one little problem. One of the guys he worked with came down with the swine flu....and didnt know it until he'd already been in the office for 2 days spreading the germs around to everyone else. Yesterday EVERYONE but Jesse went to the hospital because they weren't feeling well. We aren't sure if he'll actually catch it or not, but we really didn't want to expose the kids to that if we don't have to. So he's staying in MO this weekend, and I'll be staying here :(. Which quite frankly sucks because I miss my husband, and at this point unless his boss lets him take a long weekend (hahahahahahaha) I wont see him again until mid October.

So yeah hopefully he doesn't catch the swine flu....we both seem to have some sort of natural immunity to the regular flu, as do the kids, so hopefully it applies to this new version too. As of yesterday he had a headache, but cant really say weather that had anything to do with the flu or not...I havent talked to him yet today to see how he's feeling.

Moving on. I'm totally excited about tomorrow! My mom and I are taking the kids to the state fair! They loved it when we went last year, and have been totally stoked ever sense we told them last weekend that we were going lol. The older 2 have both been doing REALLY well in school so I'm looking forward to being able to reward them with a day full of rides, food, animals and over priced carnival games! Yes I'm a big kid at heart and looking forward to it as much as they are lol.

Ok I really should go crochet, or clean, or something productive instead of sitting at the computer all afternoon. Oh gotta run to walmart too for milk!

Crochet stuff

Ok so here is just a bunch of stuff I've done lately lol

hat for Bekah, with a huge flower on it lol



This WAS Jesse's blanket, but it's now Doug's because it's too small lol although I think I'm gonna undo the whole thing and use a different pattern. It's not done yet of course lol. And I dont have pictures of the current blanket I'm working on for Jesse lol.


and this is a hat I made for a friend who's having a baby in December (Amy no showing her! LOL)

Been over a month...again

Ooops....over a month again....my bad lol.

So we are in Colorado now. It's actually not going too bad being here, the kids have adjusted well, and my mom and I havent yelled at each other yet lol. Doesnt mean I'm happy to be here though. I hate being separated form Jesse when I dont *have* to be. Drives me crazy to know that he's still going home to that house every night and we are stuck here. And also knowing that the next time I get to see him is in October, when he comes out here for 3 weeks, then he leaves for Korea....for the "real" separation.

The kids are doing really well here though, they've all adjusted way better than I ever expected them to. I'm sure that having my parents here helps though....they help me give them each the attention that they need right now. Doug and Bekah both are doing GREAT in school! This is there first full week of school so it will be interesting to see how it goes lol. Seeing how well they've adjusted makes me feel better about moving out here early. Doug hasnt had any issues what so ever in school so far. Yeah he got his color changed twice I think last week for talking when he was supposed to be paying attention lol but to me thats "normal" 7 (almost 8) year old behavior. So far no sign of the tantrums he used to throw last year. But I'm not naive enough to think that we are in the clear just yet lol but I'm SO proud of him for how well he's doing! They had testing last week, and no surprise he's a bit behind in reading. But thats ok! He'll get the extra help he needs and be fine.

Bekah is doing great as usual lol. Her teacher was very impressed at how well she reads when she did her testing. She loves her new school and her new friends. It's amazing how well kids adjust to changes like this. I can only hope that when we move AGAIN next year it goes as smoothly.

My mom and I are taking the kids to the fair this weekend and I cant wait! I love taking them to stuff like this and teaching them about all the different things we'll see!

I think I'm also going to start posting pictures of the stuff I crochet here....just to kinda keep track of it all lol. I have way too many projects going on at once right now haha. A blanket for Jesse, a blanket for Doug, a shower puff, a giraffe, and a scarf for Bekah haha. Yeah I need to learn to finish one thing before starting another!

Ok going to end this for now and figure out how to post pictures!

I've always sucked at this!

Keeping up on blogs that is! hahah. Whew times have changed sense the last post.

The biggest is that we are moving. We were out in Colorado visiting our family for spring break when Jesse got the call....the Army is overstaffed so they are letting some recruiters go back to the main line early! Sweeeeeeetttttttt!!!! We HATE recruiting. I've said before I'd rather him be deployed. Crazy statement I know, but until you've lived in the hell we call recruiting you cant fully understand.....I know I didnt.

So we were all excited, wondering where we'd end up. We were pretty sure we'd end back up in Ft. Sill at least for a little while, figured Jess would go back over the big pond to the sand box within 6 months of getting there...we were fine with that...at least it wasnt recruiting! So we waited...literally for months! (spring break was in March) They gave us our choices Ft. Lewis, Ft. Hood, Ft. Sill or Ft. Bragg if he went to Korea first for a year. We didnt want to have him leave here directly to a year tour over there so we told them we'd take Ft. Sill. This was at the beginning of April. So we waited again, thinking that when he finally got orders they would be to Ft. Sill for sure. Boy were we wrong. Finally in the beginning of May we heard back from them. He was going to Korea no matter what...boo!

So now he's scheduled to leave sometime in November, although he's trying to get his report date moved up sometime in October. The kids and I are headed to Colorado the beginning of August to stay with my parents for the year because as of right now we dont know where we will be going when he comes home and probably wont know until he's about 1/2 way through his tour. Gotta love it.

Anyway thats all for now lol I started writing this hours ago and I know there was more I wanted to say but I cant remember what it was anymore haha.

Yay for taxes!

So I've been on a massive spending spree the past 2 days sense our taxes came in. I dont think I've EVER spent this much money at once on myself (well ok so the diapers are technically for Logan, but really he doesnt care how they look or what prints they have so they are mine too LOL).

One of my biggest single purchases is my sewing machine! I havent touched one sense high school so it's been interesting to say the least (as of right now we have a love/hate thing going on!). So far I've managed to jack up a few projects and make a few usable ones lol. The usable things are a soaker for Logan (it's a fleece diaper cover for you non cloth diaper people), about 15 double sided wipes made out of CUTE monkey flannel, and a pillow for Bekahs baby cradle lol. The cradle actually used to be mine when I was a little girl (I think I got it when I was about 6 or 7) and it still had the same fabric on it from 20ish years ago haha. Needless to say it was in dire need of being replaced. I still need to make the fabric that covers the "mattress" but that wasnt a task I was undertaking with Logan awake haha. I'm also crocheting her a blanket that matches the new pillow and "sheet".

Sadly now pretty much all my money is gone lol except what I've put aside for clothes for myself (We need to pick a shopping weekend Amy!). Thats ok though, it feels good to know that I've finally gotten to get the stuff I've been holding off on for so long!

Anyway I think I'm gonna go veg on the couch and crochet while I wait for Jesse to come home!

Round and Round we go!

Thankfully things are finally starting to look up here. Our renter FINALLY paid for the past 2 months rent, our state taxes came in, and hubby gets a pay raise for being in the Army for 8 years! YAY!

I stepped on the scale today and from when I started eating less, limiting my snacks and only allowing myself one soda a day I've dropped 9lbs already! Now once I get my butt in gear and actually start working out it will be even better haha! I plan on buying a Wii fit with some of my portion of the federal tax money, I cant wait! I think part of what makes my motivation lack is the fact that to me working out isnt FUN, especially out in the garage where we are really limited on what we can do.

There are quite a few other things I look forward to buying hehe. Like more cloth diapers. It's amazing how much taking a break from cloth did me (I took a break for about a month or so) because I was so burned out with dealing with issues (stink and wash) but now I've found the love again. Although I do wish I hadnt sold over half of my diapers in the process. Oh well, at least it made it so I was able to buy Christmas gifts for people that didnt come out of the bank account.

Doug is having issues at school again with his behavior. I really dont know what to do about it, it's not something his medication would cover...thats to help with his focus. His behavior is a whole other can of worms that I'm not sure how to deal with. I dont want to put him on more meds, but something has got to give. Dont get me wrong he HAS improved, but I think thats due more to maturity than anything else. I guess I can hope that he'll eventually just out grow it, but it's not easy talking to the princaple of the school and hearing that your 7 year old is throwing hissy fits on the level of a 2 year old.

There is a father/daughter dance at the end of the month that Bekah is soooooo excited about. I think we'll go dress shopping this weekend. This is the first year that she's been old enough to go (It's for K-5th grade).

Ok enough babbling. I need to pick up the living room while Logan is still napping so we can go do our running around when he wakes up!

Pink eye

So Mr. Doug has pink eye. Ugh! Couldnt get him into the doc today so we have to wait until tomorrow...which means he misses today and tomorrow for school (they have to be on antibiotics for 24hrs before they can go back to school). And that means that he'll have missed 4 days in the past 2 weeks! He NEVER misses this much school....I dont like it when they miss school grrr.

Tomorrow is going to be HECTIC in the morning. First we have to go to the tax place at 7:30 to finish our taxes (we forgot some paperwork last week and we had to wait on other things), then Doug's dr appt is at 8:45, but we have to be there at 8:30, and THEN the housing people are coming at 9 to fix the stuff they found at the last inspection. Hopefully we can manage to pull it all off.

I've also decided to start my spring cleaning. That should be interesting, and if I'm smart I'll put it off until after the housing people come lol last thing they need to see is the house all tore up because I'm "cleaning".

Going to run some errands as soon as Logan wakes up here in a few, then come back and get some serious cleaning done!

Ok so...

I havent posted sense October! Eeek! I also decided that this will not only be a weight loss blog but just an every day blog. Sometimes it's nice to just blog about whats going on in my life.

I'm a mother to 3 kids, who are the light of my life. I've been married to an amazing man for 8 1/2 years. I have a small number of friends in real life, but the ones I do have are amazing and I like it that way :).

It takes me a while to open up to new people, I've been burned a lot by people in my life so I'm not so quick to let people in anymore.

I have two dogs and a cat (well 2 cats at the moment but the 2nd one is temporary) whom are like my other babies lol. I'm sure I'll blog about them too sense they take up quite a bit of my time as well :)

Umm thats pretty much it for now, I hear the baby so time to jump off of here and go get him.