Nervous wreck!

So the day FINALLY came!  Jesse is on his way here! Woohoo!  But of course today is our first day of "real" snow here....so I will be a nervous wreck until he pulls into the driveway, sometime around midnight tonight lol.  Granted we are only supposed to get an inch or two...and as far as I can tell it's not sticking to the roads (our roads are slushy, but they are dirt) but I also cant help but of course hype myself up and think about them freezing overnight...ugh.  And as if worrying about him driving here isnt bad enough, I'm worried about my mom driving home from work in this crap too lol.  She works up in the Springs (about 45 min North of us) and they always get the weather worse than we do sense they are at a higher elevation and closer to the mountains...ugh.  My stress level has shot wayyyy up today lol.

Here's to hoping everyone in my family makes it home safely tonight, so they can laugh at me for being a worry wart! lol

Countdown!

We are down to under 2 weeks until Jesse gets here!  Yay!  It's been over 2 months right now sense we've seen him, and we all miss him like crazy!  Even though we only get 3 weeks with him until he leaves again I'm planning on enjoying that time as much as I can!  Still not sure how I'll handle it once he leaves here for Korea, but I'm trying my hardest to not think about that right now lol.

It's freezing cold here today...literally lol.  It's 25 right now with a windchill of  14!!  I am NOT used to this kind of weather anymore lol got spoiled living in semi warm places.  Oklahoma it RARELY snowed.  Yeah it got cold, but I think the most snow we ever got there at one time was 3 or 4 inches, and we lived there for 6 years lol.  Here if you get 3 or 4 inches thats considered a "light" snow lol.  Although it doesnt snow that often down here in Pueblo, about as much as it does in MO which is only a couple times a year. 

Going to look at a new van on Monday woohoo.  My dad says it's a steal, so hopefully that will turn out well!  I've been limping along on mine for a while just keeping my fingers crossed that it doesnt die in the middle of the road lol.  That and I ran over a nail at some point last weekend, and of course it's in a spot that cant be repaired...so I was waiting for the 15th to replace it (all of my tires actually...they need it!) so that will save us from shelling out $200 to do that if I get this van.  We werent planning on buying a new car this soon (ok this van isnt new lol but new to us) but when a deal like this falls into your lap it's hard to turn down lol.

The kids are all doing really well...getting excited for Jesse to come out of course!  I went to an IEP meeting for Doug on Tuesday, and was pleasantly surprised at all the good things they had to say about him.  Last year his behavior was horrid at school.  His teachers here though said that he's very well mannered, kind, attentive, and always comes to school ready to work!  Definitely makes me think that his behavior last year was more teacher/school related than him though.  I told them also that he'd been diagnosed with ADHD last year and they were all shocked!  He's been off of his meds for about 6 months now, and is showing no behavioral problems what so ever here.  All in all he just seems happier here than he was in MO, which makes me feel even better about coming here. 

Anyway I hear Logan waking up, guess it's time to get off of here.

Jesse's Blanket

It's finally done!  Yay!  Now of course Bekah says she wants one just like it...please just shoot me now lmao.

Lots to do today!

So I havent posted in a week...and thats not because I forgot, it's because I honestly have nothing to update on lol.  All 3 kids got sick over the weekend, with low grade fevers.  Logan was the only one who threw up, and that was only once.  Bekah just had he fever for a day and Doug got the fever plus a cough (Logan got the cough too). 

Today is payday!!  Woohoo lol.  Which means massive to do list and errands to run.  Today I have to

• put gas in my car
• go to walmart 
• go to YMCA to sign up and sign paper
• go to old navy to see if they have pants and such for the kids uniforms
• go to hobby lobby for yarn (might wait until this weekend sense I'll be at the mall then anyway for a hair cut)
  

I think thats it?  I wanna get as much of this done before noon as I can (noon is nap time lol) not sure if I'll be able to get it all done though. 

I also need to order Bekah's new glasses today.  I swear this kid is so hard on glasses it's not funny lol.  This pair is all bent out of shape from her brother stepping on them (she left them on the floor @@) and somehow she's managed to chip pieces out of the lenses.  I got the scratch resistant ones because her other ones were all scratched up in no time, so instead she just takes whole pieces out of them lol.  Granted the pair she has now are still wearable, but I'd rather put those up in a safe place for "just incase" she breaks the new ones again.

Anyway the dogs are bugging me to take them outside so I guess it's time to go.  Three more weeks until Jesse gets here!

I'm loosing track of days

Yep my life is that boring lol I cant keep days straight anymore.

So I decided (for now) that quitting smoking is for the birds.  I dont wanna deal with it right now....yep I know it's bad for me, and I do plan on quitting eventually....just not right now lol. 

I'm counting down the days until the LES comes out for the 1st! (it's like a pay stub for military for you folks who dont speak in acronyms)  To see if our extra pay has actually started.  Because if it has, my main priority is getting a gym membership at the local YMCA and I cant WAIT!  I want to start working out again so badly it's not funny.  Although I have to laugh at the fact that while I'm actually in the same state/house as my husband I have ZERO motivation to exercise but the minute we get separated, or he goes over sea's I go into "must loose weight" mode.  It's something though right?  It's also going to help that my friend Beth happens to go to the same gym and goes almost every day.  So that will be a nice kick in the butt that I'll need to make sure I keep going.  And my mom of all people even said that if she can get her sift switched at work she'll probably join too! 

One more month and Jesse will be here for three whole weeks before he has to leave for real.  I think it will be easier once he's actually out of the country.  It's not easy on either of us knowing he's so close but we cant see him.  I still think the decision to move out here early was the best one, but I cant lie and say it doesnt suck at the same time (sorry mom).   I think once I actually get off my butt and start doing stuff (going to the gym, and seeing friends that still live here) will make it easier too.  I gotta start doing SOMETHING to make the time go faster lol.

I am a NON-SMOKER!.....AGAIN!

LOL ok so today is once again day one of me not smoking!  And Jesse's too for that matter!  No more smoking for either of us!  Time to beat this habit once and for all!  Wish me luck! lol

Things are going pretty good here. Just gearing up for Doug's birthday party tomorrow!  I cant believe my big boy is going to be 8 on Monday!  Where in the heck did time go????

Thats all I've got for now haha I wanna go jump in the shower, and then I need to clean the bathroom.  Just wanted to post a quick update!

So MAD at myself!

So I proved everyone else right, and myself wrong today.  I am a weak willed, spineless pathetic person.  I broke down and went and bought cigarettes today.  This was day six.....DAY SIX!  Of not smoking!  What on earth is wrong with me! 

I was going to re-read the book I linked earlier, and then stop again after I finished it.  But I decided I'm mad enough at myself right now taht I'm gonna give myself the rest of today/tonight and start fresh tomorrow!  Sure I should probably just stop now, but it's my quit and I'm gonna do it my way lol.  Like my mom said, no one controls my quit but me.  I think I will re-read key parts, and print up those key parts but I need to quit once and for all before I go back down on the downward spiral again.

Mom...I'm sure you are reading this lol.  I know you want so badly to say something to me about this, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for not doing so earlier, but please try to bear with me over the next few days lol.

I need to quit coming up with excuses for why this is so hard for me, because thats not helping anyone.  I think the biggest thing I'm kicking myself for is the fact that YES I was craving earlier when I went to buy the cigarettes, but I wasnt moody or anything like that.  The exact opposite, I've been in a GREAT mood sense I've quit.  And I dont know if it's because I'm so mad at myself or what but I've been in a crappy mood ever sense I smoked that first one this morning. 

No more excuses, no more "I'll quit next week/month/year", that cant fly with me anymore.  I need to do this for me, and for my kids.  Mainly for me.  I'm tired of this stupid weak addiction having such a hold on me.  I dont NEED them, they do nothing but cause me trouble!  I can and will do this!

Another new day!

Ok so this may sound horrible geeky of me...but I'm TOTALLY excited to say that I have this book pre-ordered finally!  I cant wait to get it!  I didnt used to be a series girl when it came to books.....used to be hand me a romance novel that was around 300 pages and I'd finish it in a day or two.  These Outlander books....almost all of them are over 1000 pages (except the first one, which is around 850) and I've read all of them at least 3 times.  The first 4 in the series I've read at least 5 times, and the first one...I've lost track of how many times I've read it lol.  So yeah these books are definitely my guilty pleasure.  Now thanks to this series I've become stuck on other series lol.  Like Eragon, which I will admit that I havent read the 3rd book yet....because I've been too tied up in my Outlander books lol.  And of course Twilight, which I will admit I didn't WANT to get into, because of all the hype...but I did enjoy them just the same, even if they are written for a teen audience. 

Ok, enough book geekyness from me for now!  Thats what happens when I let the nerd in me shine through lol.  Today is the beginning of day 5 for me not smoking, and day 2 for Jesse!  He was a little on the grumpy side yesterday morning, but by last night he was doing MUCH better.  I've got faith in him though!  We will both finally be able to kick this horrible habit that we've had for so long!  I will admit that I've had a few times where I've really craved one, but it's easier and easier to turn away from it as each day passes.  It's like I described it to Jesse....the first few days each time you get a craving, or have a trigger, it's like being hit with a big tree branch in the back.  They come on suddenly, and those ones are hard to resist.  Now for me, it's like getting poked with a little stick lol...it's annoying as heck, but very easy to ignore.  I know in some ways it's going to be harder for him, sense he's giving up smoking AND chewing but like I said...I have faith!

Anyway, I need to go get dressed....gotta go to walmart with my mom this morning sense she doesnt like going alone lol.  Then we get to come back and clean the house...so much fun!

Jesse's Blanket

I'm hoping to be done with this by next week!  Yay!  Well once I buy more yarn....again!  Bekah is modeling it for me haha and as you can see if this was a Bekah size blanket, I could stop now...but Jesse is much bigger than Bekah is lol so I just keep crocheting!

This one washed out really bad but you can see the blanket size and such better


This pic is better...but not much lol.  The blue is a dark royal blue...not the teal that it looks here.

9/11....and updates!

Hard to believe it's been 8 years already!  I remember I was 36 weeks pregnant with Doug when this happened.  I got woken up by a phone call from a friend telling me that planes had hit the towers.  I dont think I saw Jess for a few days after that....I honestly cant remember.  One big thing I do remember is that it took HOURS to get on post...and there were lines going around the block for the gas station.   It's a day I'll never forget!

So today is the full 3rd day of not smoking for me woohoo!  Well technically 3 1/2 days lol.  Sense I quit Tuesday afternoon.  I still feel great!  Which is amazing lol.  Maybe thats why it's hard for some people to accept that I've really quit...because I havent been grumpy or anything.  Some people have a habit of asking me shortly after they walk in the door if I'm still a non smoker....or calling the other adult who lives here and asking them if I've smoked yet. :)  Which I wont lie...gets slightly annoying lol.

My hubby finished the same book I read tonight...still waiting to see if it works as well for him as it has for me!  Lets keep our fingers crossed!

The kids are still doing really good here.  Doug and Bekah both seem to love their school a ton, which is just amazing to me!  I still have had no notes or notices about Doug saying he's had bad behavior at all!  I'm finally starting to think that maybe this will be normal for here!  I dunno what it was about the Missouri schools that made his behavior so horrible, but hey I'll take it!

Logan is being a typical 2 year old lol.  His latest thing is clapping at me if I'm not doing what he demands of me.  Like if I ask him to wait a minute, or tell him no he'll start crying and clapping...little butt.  Still no interest in using the potty ugh.  Maybe I need to get him the smaller potty chair and see if that helps.  I'm ready to be done with diapers! LOL

Thats about the jist of it here! I miss my Missouri friends :(  And my former Oklahoma friends (who have scattered across the world now lol).  Amy thanks for feeding my hubby while he's foodless for the next week of clearing housing lol.